Lonely Fozzy

One of my childhood friends got married earlier this month. I was lucky enough to be a groomsman, which had two perks: Front-row seat for the nuptials and a gift for simply being a part of the fun.

The latter is particularly great because my friend Chris is a world-renowned gift-giver. His offerings are guaranteed to put a smile on your face, or at least get a laugh from everyone else in our childhood gang.

We all grew up WWF fans, might have even attended a Royal Rumble or two. Might have even grappled in a ring at WrestleFest in Hartford before WrestleMania XI. Might have even been featured in a WWF ice cream bar promo (that’s a story for another day).

As we all get older, my friends and I find great interest in seeing how the grapplers of our youth have aged (hint: not gracefully). Maybe that’s why the Tumblr site Lonely Virgil struck a chord.

Like many former wrestlers, Mike Jones – better known as Virgil, the sidekick of Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase – travels to wrestling events to sign autographs and make some cash off his past persona. The joke is that no one approaches Jones and fans have photographed him looking particularly companionless and forlorn. Lonely Virgil.

For my groomsman gift, Chris contacted what he dubbed “Virgil’s management” (it was almost certainly Jones himself) and told him about an idea. He wanted a sign, just like the ones we had seen in the photos, misspellings and all. A deal was consummated. Chris asked “Virgil’s management” to include a little something to help make clear who had sent the sign.

The banner arrived a few days later with a crumpled 8x10 piece of paper stuffed inside. It was simply a printout of the Virgil photo above. No autograph, no inscription. That, of course, would probably cost extra.

The sign now hangs off a desk in my office, near an ESPN Boston banner for filming work videos. My wife doesn’t understand why we all giggle when we see the banner, but she long since gave up trying to understand what makes us laugh. She was kind enough to snap the photo of me in front of the banner, then walked away as I tried again to explain the joke.

In case you’re interested – and you are – the sign is available for all parties and social gatherings. It’s a gift that should keep on giving.

(When you have two kids named Chris in your childhood posse, someone’s getting a nickname. Hi, I’m Fozzy. I’ll probably use this space for random non-Celtics stories like this one).